Goodness. It's Pentacost Sunday. Brian is at his final CHRP meeting for the next team. Anne is napping in the next room and I have a few minutes to think. I have been feeling so out of sorts and Brian has too. We're both in a weird funk. I really hope the weather gets better.
We go for walks in the evening when its nice. It helps us refocus on each other (rather than the TV screen) and where our marriage is headed. Last summer we walked several times a week. We did it then to keep me in shape and to keep up my endurance in preparation for labor. But when the weather turned bad after the baby was born, we both missed the talking! It is so much easier to think and reflect on what Brian says while we walk. If I take a few minutes before I answer, there is no pressure to say something; unlike the pressure if we were just staring at each other on the couch waiting for our turn to talk.
I have really felt that we aren't synchronized like we used to be. Brian doesn't like to think about it this way, but I do think we are past the 1st year "honeymoon" stage and are in deeper marriage waters. I'm not so worried about making him mad and he's not so worried about keeping me happy. We have both gotten busier and more stressed and feel like there is less time for the other. I know that to make things better, I need to put out that extra effort to make Brian feel cared for, loved, special, - the hero of my heart. It is at this exact time when I don't want to do it.
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That last sentence is so cute, I know exactly what you mean, but (and i can say this now, because I've been there, and still have days I'm there again) it's those times we don't want to that it's so important to do it anyway, and maybe even throw in a little extra because by doing so it will lift him to a place where he is even more able to meet your needs. I picked up a great book last week, "The power of a praying wife" by Stormie O'Martin, and I'm learning that above all prayer really is the best gift I can give my husband, AND the more I do it, the more loving and nurturing I feel toward him.
Ok, lecture over. lol.
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