COFFEE

So I never drink coffee but I am tonight. Bruce brought his coffee pot into the burrow (see What is the burrow). Lots of creamer and lots of sugar. Hopefully, after we stay up all night, Vega will be done. Vega, the software engineering project which has gone on forever. I am so proud of the team though. Go Team Vega. Bruce, Ryan, and Meg. "All your base are belong to us"

The cicadas have arrived and are crawling all over the steps of the CS building. I imagine that after emerging from the ground, well slept after an underground existance of 17 years, they are excited to finally meet each other. Perhaps like a CS student emerging from the underbelly of the building, they are ready to meet other actual people, those who speak and exchange spoken conversation, unaware of the existance of items such as a "vector array", "iterator", "null pointer", "Linux", "parallel processor", "lpr", "SQL", "cache" (or cash if you're a certain professor, I'm not kidding! He really wrote it on the board). They step blinking into the summer light, light dappled and green under the trees of campus. Or perhaps into the pale light of a golden moon.

I hate the shaking feeling my arms and legs get when I'm this tired. I'm pushing my body to its limits. This semester has been on of limits. Limits running from God, from Dan, from Chris, from friendship, from Vega, from work, from myself. It doesn't work to run because everywhere I run, that's where I find me. And my God, even if I won't face him. I need to step out into the sun of hardwork, dedication, and duty. For doing what you are called to do is really the best joy to be found. Why can't I just make myself do it? I need to build my work ethic and ability to work on the unpleasant. For after the rain, comes the sun. Out of a cold and depressing winter, the spring rains and warm wind rush into a summer of basking delight. Ok, enough mediocre ramblings. Back to Vega.