Future thoughts

So I've been extremely busy at work and at home. Well, that's not the whole truth. I had a great weekend of almost nothing, but used it to clear my mind and did nothing but hang out with Maria and her family. I did some food shopping and slept over at my parents’ house, visited with Claire, but nothing of much consequence. So I've been extremely busy doing nothing. A very important nothing. The bachelor party turned out great. Brian had a blast and so did my dad, brother, etc. Brian and I had a great time hanging out Sunday.

But what I'm really feeling at this exact moment? I am baby crazy! Yes, it’s true. Most people here wouldn't know how much I want to be a wonderful wife, marvelous mom and breastfeed my babies. I truly feel it is my calling from God, in addition to other gifts he offered to me. And now that Brian and I are almost married, I can feel free to dream. Plus, Heather had her baby and one of the women from work brought in her baby and I got to hold him. He was so cute ... I want one!

Well, actually, I'm ok with waiting until Brian and I can nail down the details of our new life: emotionally, physically, financially, and spiritually. We don't have a good reason to wait other than just making sure everything calms down a little. But we are just fine financially, even if we do have my school debts and a few other things to cover. We're both emotionally there and spiritually grown, as much as we both need to grow into the Lord. I need to finish moving and we have to figure out the commuting situation. I don't want to be eight months pregnant driving two and half hours a day.

But we both want babies, Brian and I. We even have names picked out. (Keep in mind, I tend to live 5 years ahead of myself. I asked for college help from my counselors in 7th grade. His advice: Go to High School. My mom's advice right now: Get married. Love your husband.) Theodore Joseph, Margaret Anne or Anne Margaret (Why oh why did she have to ruin the name I wanted!?! I had no idea there was someone named Ann-Margaret until my mom laughed at the name we liked.)